


Raw Marble

by joanamcfulana



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-10-13 19:30:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17493899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joanamcfulana/pseuds/joanamcfulana
Summary: Leia Organa is on the brink of change, so that she can be destroyed and put together. She is on the verge of a paradigm, just like a wrinkled stone.





	Raw Marble

Luke sits on the porch. Until now, he’s been missing for three days and a couple hours. She’s not counting on it to be true; it may very well be a vision.

Two hours and twenty-one minutes. That was the exact time on the clock when she checked, as she awoke astounded by dreaming. They had traded sweet dreams’ at midnight, so as far as Leia is concerned, Luke’s been missing for three days, two hours and twenty-one minutes.

She plummets by his side on the ground. Over the stone limits, there is no protection between them and the open world beneath.

“So. Where were you then… This time.” Leia gorges out, impressing herself for not letting her insides follow the action.

Luke slowly turns his gaze to meet her stare, for the first time, in what? Ever, it seems like.

“I don’t know if you’d like to hear about it. Would you?”

“Of course, of course I would! Luke…” Leia tries but stumbles into silence, simply letting him guide her. She grabs the crumbly edges of stone, and they tumble slightly into infinity through her grasp – so she grabs stronger.

“Are you sure, Leia? I mean, I don’t want to disappoint you anymore. I know you’ve been dealing with a lot. Ever since Han, it almost seems as if you’ve been crumbling at the edges…”

“Don’t make this about me, Luke! This time, let’s just… Let’s just face that you’re the one who disappeared to the middle of nowhere. I mean, I don’t even know if you’ve been in an accident, if someone’s taken you…”

He smiles at her apologetically. As if he knows what she’s thinking.

“Well, I guess there’s also the possibility that you’ve simply stormed out with no regards to how I’d feel about this, how the squad would feel, what we would’ve thought, I mean, maybe we’d suffer an assault and we’d have to leave you behind-“

“Leia.” he shushed her by taking her shoulders in his hands. “You knew I had left for my own reasons. You knew I’d come back. You know I’m a different part of this than any of them. You have to get in touch with the Force in you, search it for _solace_ – please.”

Ah, if she could just stop this stupid heart from beating so fast. She counts and takes a deep breath, a deep breath – one, two, three… there it is. She exhales. The one thing she feels is from the deep oxygenation of brain.

“Just, c’mon, tell me where you were, Luke.” She asks of him with her eyes still closed. “Hiding stuff won’t protect me. Who do you think you are, my father?” She opens her eyes to stare further into whatever nonsense he’s trying now. “You’re my soldier in this. I deserve an explanation.”

He presses his lips in clear frustration. She has two guesses: could be because she was stern to him; or that he is offended. Luke doesn’t enjoy being controlled. Well, she doesn’t either. Third guess: absolutely anything – she doesn’t know shit about what goes on inside his head, even though she likes to pretend so sometimes.

She should just ask.

“What you frowning about?”

“I had hoped for soothing your angst, I guess. Didn’t work out,” he chuckled mirthlessly.

Fourth – late – guess would have to be classical Luke-y solicitude. Jackpot. Late jackpot.

“All right, trust me on this, ok?” she pleads, not knowing what else to do if this doesn’t work out. She needs some stability. Even if it is only temporary. “I just need one thing to be set right. Just do this for me, fix this, show me I can trust you again. Can you do that?”

And as standard Luke seems crushed by those words. He doesn’t enjoy hurting others, is more like him.

“Look, I’ll tell you, all right?” he looks at the forested dungeon beneath their feet. “You have to promise not to be mad at me. Just chill…?” The last words sound like plead.

Her heart chills, indeed, with that. What has he done now? One more reason for wanting it to be over soon.

“All right. Hit me.” Get it over with before I crack.

“I spoke to Vader.” he says, serene eyes turning on hers.

Her heart gallops once more, filled with concern and anger before, within only a few meters, it stumbles on the feeling that contradicts her reaction, before Luke can say a word.

“I spoke to my _father_.” The feeling verifies.

Leia strives to not curse. No cursing. She presses her lips and closes her eyes.

“We’ve been over this, right?” she inquires, trying to stay calm. “You can’t humanize that _thing_. Can’t go on calling him father, Luke. Next thing you know, you’re taking pity on him. On _it_.”

“But that’s not going to help me, you see? If I don’t recognize the truth, I won’t be able to deal with it. I have to deal with the fact that the man who conceived me murders civilians. The truth is in me, whether I like it or not.”

“Luke, so what?” she cries in suffering, losing the tone already “We can’t be the loving therapist; we’re rebellion soldiers, insurgents, for Force’s sake! That’s the reason we live for, remember? Our jobs? How are you going to end this if you’re taking pity on the man who basically legalized interplanetary slavery?”

“Who said I was taking pity on him, Leia? I’m simply saying I have to recognize it. Won’t do for me to realize I’m killing my father the moment my saber touches his neck. You know what would happen. I would break.”

“I know that.”

“You do. Now, will you let me tell it?”

“Ah, just do it.” Leia scrapes the edges, the littlest parts of stone scrambling down and down and down.

“You know how there are ruins just north of here? Where we found inscriptions and I got that mild headache for days?”

She nods, for this moment a bit trustful that Luke hadn’t meant or done anything threatening.

“So, those were a Jedi installation ruins, here in this moon. Turns out there is no data whatsoever about any of Calens’ moons in the Imperial or Rebel database, which led me to think it had been erased by the central-server in Coruscant. Just like any other Jedi-related business, it’s out of circulation. So, I figured, let’s take a look around, for the sake of rebel knowledge, right?” he tries a smile.

“That’s not funny, Luke.”

“Right” he rubbs his neck “Anyway, I sensed the Force telling me to look for it. It hovered over my mind, not letting me sleep or meditate. So I followed what It said. When I reached the inscriptions again, they appeared to have changed. I mean, I’m sure. There were drawings this time. Of somewhat old, somewhat recent tale of a Jedi’s descent.

And the headache, it was gone - as if I wasn’t supposed to rest until I accomplished this task. So I delved deeper into the building, following the tale, till I reached a point where the wall collapsed and nature invaded. I heard whining. Past this chamber, there was a single tomb. Only that, and half-buried by the floor, this…”

He searches inside his pockets and shows Leia a part of a small, carved pendant, broken. It radiates strange energy. Conflicted.

“Hm… looks like it’s japor.” She guesses.

“You feel it too, right?”

Leia nods, intrigued.

“I know it sounds counter-intuitive, but I… Touched the tomb.”

“You touched the tomb, Luke?” Leia asked, slightly exasperated.

“I did, but the Force! Anyway…” he resumes “When I touched it, I felt many emotions. Many moons of suffering. But then, I guess worse… Or not. Well, I heard _him._ ”

“Uh-huh.” she encouraged, feeling briefly satisfied for not hearing ‘father’ again.

“At first, Vader talked to someone who wasn’t me. Like, himself. He scorched himself as with every other lackey of his. Then, he seemed to realize my presence was real, and ordered me to leave him be. I was surprised he didn’t try to lure me. I guess it was just very real anger and disappointment.

I demanded that he showed himself, but he cursed and told me I was a foolish child. With that, he left me. I felt cold, but I felt great sorrow too. It felt surprisingly similar to when I got up to the vents in Hoth, after the Death Star, and thought about the explosion.”

Leia’s heart freezes in place.

“Luke, don’t do that”, she shakes her head in neglect. “Don’t compare yourself to him, you’re not a monster, you’re not a symbol of slavery and cruelty. You heard me? Don’t do that.”

“Leia, it felt just like me for a second. For a second, it was me in a cold place, all alone, thinking about the innocent lives I took for a juvenile ideal that I hand’t even known was right. That I just felt made sense. You know?”

“C’mon, you nitwit!” Leia struggles with herself. She feels like her heart is wrenching. She has to make these words in her head make sense somehow. “Luke, you’re not a bad person. Let’s think about the things you have done for us, the little things. Like, you lend our prisoners your free time – you cook for them, Luke” That wasn’t exactly representing Luke’s selfless personality. “You sacrifice yourself for people who have nothing; these people thought they wouldn’t have anyone to back them up, but they had you. Think about the people we’ve helped out of the emperor’s hand, the families, little kids, getting to live a life in freedom.”

He reaches out her hand, with a frown, plays with her fingers, and Leia falls silent. Her chest aches.

“Leia, I know I am a good person. I mean, at least my intentions are the best. And from listening to you guys, I have good reason to believe we’re on the right side. We have to believe _something_ , after all, right?” He crooked a corner of his mouth upwards. “It’s just that… those drawings on the wall got me thinking: what if a hero falls to his own meaningful intentions? What if I fell? I’d like to think someone would be there to convince me that I am destroying things I hold dear. Just…”

“That’s certainly not the case here, Luke.”

“Just, what if Vader’s prisoned by this dark presence inside himself, and can’t get out? What if I… could help him?”

Help me Force. I might just believe in you again.

“Hey, look at what you’re doing here. You found out Vader, massive genocide, massive jackass, is your father, recognized it, and now you’re conceiving the idea that he might be good again. Luke, that is a tiny, whiny, sch-ziny possibility. It almost doesn’t exist. Think this through again, please.”

Luke is exasperated. Leia gets the feeling he is frustrated over she not agreeing with his crazy thoughts.

“Leia, but this isn’t any innocent dream. I know it looks like it, but the Force is propelling this inside me. I have to answer to It.”

She hears her heart pound in her ear. And he thought he shouldn’t tell her this. She has to know if her best friend is planning to change a genocide enemy’s heart. Even though it’s madness.

I don’t know if I can deal with this right now, Luke – that’s what she wants to say.

“I’m not going to fight you, then. I’ll just have to accept it.” She’ll just have to accept losing her best friend too. “But I have to warn you: if you reveal rebel info or even put the operation at risk over this foolish attempt at winning Vader’s compassion,” sounds even worse when she says it “I’ll have to cut you from our operation”

“I won’t do that Leia. C’mon, I promise.”

He seems relieved that she hasn’t screamed at him. She’s relieved, as much as she lets herself be, about that promise.

“You better not, Luke. I will hunt you and I will punish you, if I…” it’s a matter of seconds for her eyes to water. She forces it back. The tears falls, unwanted. “If I lose you too, I’ll just…”

He crawls closer to her, and she lets him involve her in a hug. She’s just so mad. The fall beneath them is so threatening.

“Leia,” Luke announces as if he’s got all the time in the world to comfort her “we will go back for Han. We will bring freedom to this galaxy. I’m positive…” He reaches for her cheek and turns her look to his. “We’ll do it together, all right?”

Leia tries to take a complete breath. She almost manages it.

“Positive.” She says, forcing it all back inside.

“There’s one more thing, though.”

The stone is still disintegrating beneath her hands, so she simply rakes it with her nails to feel it crack.

“Hit me, Luke.”

“You know how we’ve got this connection? This… Force, different from friendship or romance, that binds us together?”

It hits her, as surely as the stones hit the floor somewhere beneath.

 


End file.
